Despair was consuming me, and yet the tiniest tinge of relief was starting to seep through the cracks of my broken heart; I was desperate for this torture to end.

So many women are afraid to change doctors as they don’t want to “offend” their current doctor, but for me, this was a decision of life or death – the life or death of my future children.

Life or death – that is EXACTLY how I viewed it. I wanted to be taken seriously; this “casual” approach was making me furious.

It’s been almost 4 years since we first started trying and I remember, with a sting of despair, the number of times I have hoped that something would work, yet it never has.

My unpredictable fluctuating moods left me questioning my sanity. I did not know who I was anymore. But what I did know is that I RESPECTED the POWER OF HORMONES.

I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all, and yet I wanted to burst into tears. Laughter eventually prevailed, and I found humour was slowly become one of my main coping strategies.

We were living in a bad news – déjà vu – never ending loop from hell. That’s the only way I can describe it.

I looked up in astonishment. “What are you talking about?” I asked. He went pale. “Nobody told you?” he whispered. “Told me what?” I demanded.

You are synthetically inducing symptoms of early menopause. Now does that sound like fun to you? In any single way?????????

It feels as though my body is rejecting these pills and yet I power through. I NEED to know that I’ve given it a real shot…

I thought I was young and healthy and ready to start a family….until I came off the birth control. Then all hell broke loose.

I stared longingly at the raw food bars that I normally stash in the top pocket of my flight suit. “How can these possibly be bad for you?!!” I fretted.