The Life-Changing Research

The DISAPPOINTMENT and DISGUST that ensued after seeing Dr.G (the inappropriate doctor) FUELED a renewed motivation to research.

I had been so broken from the news of my severe endometriosis that I hadn’t actually had the energy or the drive to research this particular condition in length.

I made sure to call up my friend who recommended the doctor.

“Why did you recommend this doctor to us?” I asked.

“Well, Alice really like him.” She said.

“Why?????” I pushed.

“Well, she said she loved the little buffet of food they had in the waiting room.” Her words were so casual I could almost hear her shrugging her shoulders.

Anger began to resurface and my face burned red. A “buffet” is NOT a valid reason for a referral….people understand that right????

I calmly asked her to please, not refer anyone to him EVER again.

Further research revealed that previously Dr.G had gotten one of his patients pregnant. Yes, that is correct. Not in an IVF way…. He KNOCKED UP the wife of the couple struggling with infertility. So I guess from some people’s perspective he succeeded at his job. This “gossip” was confirmed by obstetricians, nurses that work with him and a published news article. I couldn’t believe that he was still in business.

But the anger proved to fuel me at a time when I thought I had nothing left.

I spent a quiet night shift accessing our Medical Data Base at work and what I found left me SPEECHLESS.

The research showed that IVF is actually NEVER successful with severe endometriosis.

Let me repeat that again…….NEVER!!!!

It can be successful with mild-moderate cases, but it is NEVER successful with severe endometriosis.

I thought Dr. G had lit a fire of rage and fury in my soul, but when I read this that fire EXPLODED and CONSUMED me.

If I hadn’t been so OUTRAGED I would have collapsed on the floor and wept.

It took all my strength to maintain my poker face at work. I pasted a forced smile on my face and robotically continued working but my soul was SCREAMING.

I wanted to run into the woods and break something.

I wanted to scream until I lost my voice.

How could Dr. B give me such BAD advice?????!!!!!!!!!!!

How DARE he tell me to get IVF when ALL the research CLEARLY shows that IVF is NEVER successful with severe endometriosis!

Surely he knows this. He is the fertility specialist.

I paid $250 for a 20 minute appointment for him to COUNSEL me in the appropriate way since HE IS THE “EXPERT”.

What if I had listened to him? What if I hadn’t done my own research?

What if I had done IVF in my condition and spent THOUSANDS of dollars to go through emotional and physical HELL and still have NO success!

Is my pain and suffering of no consequence to him?

What if I wasn’t an empowered health-care professional with access to medical research at work and the latest evidence?

What if I was the typical patient who puts FULL trust in this person who is considered “the professional”?

I shudder to think of the women that have been given this HORRIFIC advice.

I shudder to think of the women with severe endometriosis that have SUFFERED unnecessarily through IVF when it was NEVER going to be successful in the first place.

I have a visceral reaction to these thoughts and the anger that I feel fuels this desire in my soul to share this journey so that women going through the same thing can read the research for themselves and be empowered in the same way that I was.

Somehow I survived that night shift and spent the next few days in a catatonic state of disbelief.

There was so much to process.

The research articles stated that if you have a diagnosis of severe endometriosis that further surgery is IMPERATIVE.

It was a lot to take in…..AGAIN….but it made sense.

When I finally gathered myself together, I decided to investigate further in order to find the best surgeon around.

Once again, I am LUCKY to work in Obstetrics and to also have close friends that are scrub nurses in the biggest women’s hospital in town.

At my next shift in the Clinic, I sheepishly approached one of the Consultant (Attending) Obstetricians and asked for his advice regarding surgery.

“You have severe endometriosis?” He said incredulously, ” You definitely need further surgery!”

“You must see Dr. M” he stated matter-of-factly. “He’s the best doctor in town for endometriosis. The rest of us train under him. Every doctor in the city knows that all severe cases of endometriosis immediately get referred to Dr. M.”

It was nice to get confirmation of my research, but at the same time I had to wonder…..if this was known protocol for severe cases then why didn’t Dr.B immediately refer me to Dr. M? Was it ignorance? OR was it EGO?

All Dr. B had to say to me was “Now that we know that you have severe endo, I would recommend you seeing Dr.M as this level of severity is out of the scope of my practice.” THAT is what I expected from Dr. B.

True ring the words “anger comes from broken expectations”.

I investigated some more and my friend who worked with Dr.M as a scrub nurse told me that he was the only gynecologist that she would ever allow to touch her or her daughters. She said his work was flawless, pristine and like a work of art. His skill was that of a surgeon.

That confirmed my decision.

So I picked up the phone to make an appointment to see Dr. M and was shocked (once again) to find out that Dr. M’s office was RIGHT NEXT TO Dr. B. In fact Dr. M was the DIRECTOR of the practice.

So why didn’t Dr.B refer me to the Endometriosis specialist next door? EGO? Who knows.

So……after all that, in a VERY round-about drawn out way, I found myself back at the same practice.

Sitting in the same waiting room.

Waiting for a different doctor.

Here we go…. AGAIN.