The News

I admit, I expected the diagnosis of polycystic ovaries. All my symptoms clearly screamed PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). It was no surprise.

But I hadn’t expected the uterine anomaly.

Double whammy.

Cold sweat kissed my palms as I clutched the perfectly bound book with the 3D images of my uterus and ovaries. A part of me wanted to impulsively burn it, the other part of me was drawn to the images, obsessively scanning them in disbelief. My face was blank, my heart was flat. I did not cry, I just walked home in stunned denial.

My mind extracted a distant memory of Psych 101. “The Stages of Grief”. I was definitely experiencing the first one……DENIAL.

I didn’t cry until I saw my husband that night.

My hands were shaking as I slowly opened “the book” and, through unrestrained tears, explained the reasons why I would have trouble giving him a child. Learning the news was hard enough, but telling my husband was even harder.

Between gasping breaths, I told him that he had obviously chosen the wrong partner in life and that perhaps he should find himself another wife. He laughed at my ridiculous statement and held me until I stopped crying.

“You are my dream girl.” he whispered, and with calloused palms he gently wiped away my tears.